so now, i'm back. i'm back home. i'm finally back home. after nine months. i got so emotional when the plane touched down. i know people have been away for longer but still. getting out of the plane... did you guys know that Kenya has a "smell"? it does. not like a stenhc, just a smell. that's what greeted me at the airport. i know i'll lose all my street cred for this next sentence but, the firtst thing i heard through the intercom at JKIA was "Karibuni Kenya mabibi na mabwana..." i couldn't fight the tears. i was so happy. hearing guys talking on swa, and that swa having kikuyu and luo and kale accents, the rusty luggage trolleys, the arrogant airport clerks, some random trying to get me to buy a suffericom line at 200bob (yeah, suffericom, apparently that's what the locals are calling it these days) it was theraputic.
SA was okay, just okaym nothing extra ordinary but towards the end of the year i needed to get away, i needed to get away so bad. i was tired of how they didn't have goat meat, how beef was so expensive, how all they locals thought i was south african and always talked to me in xhosa, how all the houses looked the same, how the streets were never crowded, how the clubs always played kwaito... i could go on for a minute, but i won't, i'm sure ya'll get the point.
being home... there's nothing it. the traffic, the wreckless driving, the potholes, the atmosphere, seeing psyched friends, eating chapos drinking Kenyan tea, seeing cool bill boards, funny adverts, how the javz don't stop operating at night,the cheap internet rates with zain and Orange, (i'm totally zaining now) it's great to be back people!!!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
this greatness that i fear
everyone's telling me this great news in my ear! 'you were created for greatness!' is all i hear im not sure if i should believe it ,and im not so sure if i should live it.you see this future, is not For sure!it is just so big, what it entails seems like content from the super league! im so overwhelmed by who i can be, that greatness in me i just don't see. people keep wondering why i wallow in my situation, why i stay yet down it is so wrong. its not because i cant walk its because i cannot even begin to fathom the greatness in this talk.
i want to be great but im too scared to take a risk!trust me i wanna change but there some things that i hold on to coz they practically define me. i wanna be a better man but it takes to much, that id rather remain a bitter man!i wanna be free but the price of freedom looks more than the price of imprisonment!im so scared of the greatness that lies within me because i have to be broken for it to be set free. so every time i take 2 steps forward, i take 5 steps back, so i can be close to the place that i feel safe. im not happy but at least i know i here i dont have to be brave.
one day i shall be ready to fight, ready to do, what is right! but for now lemme stick to the same old, im still shy not yet bold! one day ill master enough courage to say enough is enough and actually be tough but till then ima stick to the sorry old rough.
dont judge me if u dont know what i mean, there is a lot that doesnt meet your eye, alot that goes unseen. be patient with me, there are battles i am fighting deep within,a truckload of mess that i dont want you in.when i gather the courage to face who i can be in the eye,i will take off and fly. soar to the heights i was meant to reach, reach my so called GREATNESS.
i want to be great but im too scared to take a risk!trust me i wanna change but there some things that i hold on to coz they practically define me. i wanna be a better man but it takes to much, that id rather remain a bitter man!i wanna be free but the price of freedom looks more than the price of imprisonment!im so scared of the greatness that lies within me because i have to be broken for it to be set free. so every time i take 2 steps forward, i take 5 steps back, so i can be close to the place that i feel safe. im not happy but at least i know i here i dont have to be brave.
one day i shall be ready to fight, ready to do, what is right! but for now lemme stick to the same old, im still shy not yet bold! one day ill master enough courage to say enough is enough and actually be tough but till then ima stick to the sorry old rough.
dont judge me if u dont know what i mean, there is a lot that doesnt meet your eye, alot that goes unseen. be patient with me, there are battles i am fighting deep within,a truckload of mess that i dont want you in.when i gather the courage to face who i can be in the eye,i will take off and fly. soar to the heights i was meant to reach, reach my so called GREATNESS.
Friday, November 7, 2008
if i lay here
The sun is shinning high up in the sky. The day looks promising. I woke up enthusiastic. I knew that today I would make my kill. But then a question crossed my mind; what am I killing? What am I enthusiastic for? I have to find a purpose; a reason to wake up in the morning. Maybe I should, yes, I suppose I should lay here.
The wind is blowing strongly. The pregnant clouds are threatening to explode. The leaves are rustling with foreboding. The skies are sending a warning, of troubles to come. I run with the crowd, helter skelter, looking for shelter. But then I stop, and wonder out loud, why am I running? What do I expect to find? Maybe I should just lay here.
Everyone is busy carrying out one chore to the other. Nobody seems to notice that I am just moving from corner to corner. I want to be busy, I want to have chores. But the only thing I seem good at is the aimless movement. I feel lost in my own home. I want to lay here.
I am tired of this aimless moving. This purposeless searching. I am tired of trying to find that which I do not know, trying to keep that which I do not have. I am tired of moving in endless vicious circles. I want to take a rest, just sit back and watch it all go by. What if I just lay here … ….
The wind is blowing strongly. The pregnant clouds are threatening to explode. The leaves are rustling with foreboding. The skies are sending a warning, of troubles to come. I run with the crowd, helter skelter, looking for shelter. But then I stop, and wonder out loud, why am I running? What do I expect to find? Maybe I should just lay here.
Everyone is busy carrying out one chore to the other. Nobody seems to notice that I am just moving from corner to corner. I want to be busy, I want to have chores. But the only thing I seem good at is the aimless movement. I feel lost in my own home. I want to lay here.
I am tired of this aimless moving. This purposeless searching. I am tired of trying to find that which I do not know, trying to keep that which I do not have. I am tired of moving in endless vicious circles. I want to take a rest, just sit back and watch it all go by. What if I just lay here … ….
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