The search...

''It has been a long time coming,''i said to myself...Such a long time coming.We dwell in a world in which the concepts of being on a journey are deemed as for the righteous or for the 'deep people.' But truly,what is a journey and how many of us make this journey?The battle to live a life of truth in a fake world overwhelms,and this,causes thoughts of failure to emerge,mummifying us in cocoons of self hate and disbelief.I was on a journey.Born in a society where materialism reigns supreme,i swam with the same fishes i now see in a different light.W e are all born in this same pond,a pond full of lust,money,fame,and vices birthed every second.Have you ever reached a point in your life when you get tired of all this and just look for a getaway?In the midst of my escape,my search for relaxation,a certain peace came to me,a peace hard to explain but easy to feel,i felt at home.
Home is a word used to symbolise safety,peace and belonging.Are you at home?Reach deep into the depths of your thoughts and see if indeed you are home.I searched for truth in the wrong places,looked for fresh air in the middle of sewers but something strange happened.After such a long search for truth,and failing to find it,it found me.Waking up one day,i felt different,like i had a purpose or a mandate,i felt like i belonged.Nothing in me resembled the emptiness that devoured me when my eyes were still closed to the reality of life.Questions began to stir in me,questions like what is life?What is love?What is truth,joy,meaning,freedom,what are these and where can we go to find them or where can we wait for them to find us?
The destination sometimes can look unseen because the distance is far from the reach of our eyes but that does not mean there is no destination.Often i have retreated to spots where nature is my only companion,where starlights look at me,shining my way,as if they understand me.I have watched the nightlights as they case dull nights with their artificial beauty,but still,beauty it is,and i have found peace in the fact that He who created such beauty,places in which i can call home,created me too.Gone are the day when booze and scandals with the opposite sex took the place of home,gone are the days in which i would sigh and hope but fail to make an effort to search,just laying back,thinking i had no reason to search for i myself am a search in my own right.
Where is the line between our mind and heart drawn and can we ever strike a balance between them?Many times when in conflict with ourselves,we always ask,what does your heart say?What does your mind say?Then we always come up with a notion to either follow the heart or the mind,we never choose to follow both...Is there ever a way to complete the search within oneself,to complete the journey that we as human beings are inevitably on?Are materialism,vanity,corruption and hate breeding a people who do not believe in the journey to find oneself?Are they providing a false escape route from the inevitable?Some think that life with true belonging does not exist,and that the burn in ones heart or soul when searching for who they are is make-belief.Well,this is a choice we all have to make,to find ourselves before we succumb to other peoples versions of who we are.We may reach a point in life where we do not know who we are anymore,when we slowly begin to drift away from the habits we had and found normal,and in turn feel that something is missing.
We need to search who we are,where we are and why we are.Have yo ever looked into the eyes of a child on the street with nothing to eat and feeling incomplete?Have you ever seen the eyes of a barren woman as she looks at foetuses thrown in bins?The look in their eyes is one of deep and intense feeling,a look of searching,searching for what they have never been blessed with.Now compare their look with one of a man taunting the street child with food then throwing it instead.Picture the woman who without any inner questions raised,got rid of her own flesh and blood.What is the difference between these people?Weren't they all created the same?When will we realise that the life we live does not just affect us but also those treading on the path called life?It reaches a point where we all have to look within ourselves and find what truly has meaning in life.
Inevitably the feeling will check in,knocking on the door of our existence,beckoning us to fill the void we thought we never had.The feeling will eat and gnaw looking for a way to be freed.My journey is not yet over,as a matter of fact,a journey of what is true and real never ends,never sleeps,it is always awake,knowing that detractors may settle on our souls turf.That vacum in us,the 'circle' that we will always try to fill with 'triangular' objects,until we find the right 'circle', that emptiness that will always exist until you search and journey,and find what eases your soul,it will haunt,until the light of truth sets us free...
It has been a long time coming,and if that vacum already exists in you,do not open the door to hopelesness,Search and journey with me,for our journey never ends...